Destiny

I am sorry that you feel that way.
I don’t think you are weak, but all of us – even the strongest ones – feel weak occasionally.

About “Destiny”, I think that it may exist and still be compatible with “effort”.

“Destiny” means that SOME things are predetermined. It does not follow that EVERYTHING is predetermined down to the smallest details. For instance, it may be your destiny to find yourself in a particular place, or to meet this or that person, or to have a professional opportunity; but what you will make out of all these things may be up to you. In short, destiny may determine a context at a particular moment, but within that context it may be possible for you to act and achieve things and eventually change the context itself.

I hope you are not abandoning your degree. Of course, this is for you to decide, but I am afraid it would be a mistake. The problem, if you do this, is not so much the professional possibilities you will lose, as the feelings of failure and guilt (for the lost money and the lost time) that are likely to follow. Such feelings will also tend to make you more submissive, and I think this is the last thing you need in your life.

Abandoning your degree might be a good idea, if you did not have the potential for that in the first place. But this is not so. In my view, you are very intelligent and, what is more, you use your intelligence to think. Not everybody does this.

So, if you have not abandoned your degree, then, in my humble opinion, you should not do so. If it is stuck, you can get it unstuck.

Now, if you have already abandoned your degree, and you cannot resume it (although I think this should be possible so far as the university is concerned) then some feelings of guilt are probably unavoidable. But you should not let these feelings shape your reaction. Your attitude should be driven not by guilt but by responsibility.

People do not distinguish these two things, but they are rather different. Responsibility is always positive; it helps us to correct our mistakes and to progress. Guilt, by contrast, may push us in the wrong direction. I suspect it does so most of the time. So don’t let it do this to you. Just because you made, perhaps, a mistake, it does NOT necessarily follow that anyone – even people that love you – has a right to demand of you this or that. Don’t let one mistake lead to a second and perhaps bigger one. Also remember: for those that love you, the most important thing is that you should be happy. So by opposing them, you might really be protecting what they care about.

I have made mistakes too. One of the biggest was to lose faith, at certain moments, that I could change things. I have learned since that effort can change what at some point may look like destiny. I look back to obstacles that once seemed insurmountable and drove me to despair, and I think: How trivial they really were! How unworthy of the time that I lost because of them!

I said a lot. I didn’t mean to be indiscreet; forgive me if I failed in this.

To put it in a nutshell: please cheer up! Even if a particular strategy has failed in your life – I do not know this; I am just guessing – you are still so young, and there must be more than one way to fix things! I think you have the strength.


PS. Bill Gates abandoned his degree at Harvard to found Microsoft. Can you imagine his parents’ reaction at the moment?!!!

...and just below your comment the `Scientology' ad. People who pose as a church, but are really dangerous crooks, seeking an opportunity to prey on people in distress. How disturbing!...

Cheer up, you're beginning to sound like me and that is NOT.A.GOOD.THING!