Pilgrim

"You slow down your progress, what happened?" THE Boss asked.
"Well, I had been this and that, then this and that..." I answered.
"..............." he stuttered.
"..............." I smiled.

"I never ask anyone of you to tell me your life, but from now on, you have to..."
"Huh?"
"Not detail, but you need to let me know where you go, who you see, what you do." he added.
"But...."
"Yes, I have to know!"

Hours of discussion later...

"Are you really that into relationship?"
"Hmm..."
"Well, you are aware of there are extremely scarce research about it?"
"I've noticed, it's going to be tough, but I love my subject."
(lots debate, discussion, and personal issues sharing)
"So, i wish you seriously think of it"
"I screwed up my own relationship indeed, but it doesn't mean I can't face it and get my research done!?"
"I know you can, but at this moment, you need to be sure."
"Inner conflict?"
"well, if it's still going with the phenomenological approach, there will be!"
"............."
"Textual approach works too"
"............."
"Come with your decision, and I'll see you next Friday!"
"I will think about it"
"Take care, and make sure you let me know YOUR LIFE"
"Thank you, i will try"

I know there is always easy way out, less painful alternative.
But what if that is something Ive longed for, shall i give up like that?
In 7 days, A decision has to be made.

Mom~ Happy Birthday.
There are things i never said, maybe because i was just so headstrong, so pretended, but you must know I Love you, even cross oceans. You are the coolest mom i could never expect anyone better. I LOVE YOU!!!!

People they are meant to be together always find their ways in the end.

I can clearly remember, in the winter of 2007, I visited the Baafskathedral, the Cathedral of the town-- Ghent, in Belgium. In there, i shared one of my thoughts of maybe being baptised with a friend.
"Recently lost friendships, love or what?" he so replied.
Indeed, why i even thought of that? By the time, i was content, satisfied with whatever i had in my life.
Though i must admit whenever i got stuck in my study or some personal issues, sitting in our humble Cathedral always comforts me and calms me down.
I love the smell of our Cathedral and its peacefully quite environment, that help me thinking.
But that could be very lame for the reason of being baptised.

Few months later, I heard the story from a friend. She turned herself into a extreme religionist simply because of losing the relationship.

Things kept on happening, more and more friends started looking for The Faith.
Some are forced to have a religion because of maybe better future.
Some are simply because they enjoy having a faith to lean on.
Some are using religion as a passive way to escape from reality.

For me, having a religion could be easy, could be somehow very hard.
Sounds like a paradox, doesn't it?

Maybe, meats are just too good to give up, even for a religion, a faith.
So, I can never be a buddhist, or Taoism .
Being a Catholic or Christian may appeal to me, since I can still have my meaty meal and occasional drink.
However, the problem is, I believe in Mazu--the Goddess of pilgrim more than i believe in Jesus.

Therefore, it leads me to think of this, "Is having A religion a necessity?"
Do we have to live within a certain religion?
If religions brings us inner worth, peace and fulfillment, then why we have to choose?
To choose a side to stand, to believe, to live with?
The question remains unsolved.

I may be a atheism, but i respect all religions, and their followers.

I leave it blank and let the music tell.

If i could simplify everything as you did.
I would tell you I want to be with you regardless of whatsoever.
I lied myself to see if there is anything else could distract my heart from feeling towards you, i was so wrong.
If I could blind myself from those obvious difficulties.
I would tell you I want to love you regardless of whatsoever.

I swore to God long ago that i will wait for you till I'm 30.
And i will keep my promise.

We never argued when we were face to face.
If i have to have any form of relationship, i want the one holds my hands will still be you.

The truth is, i may not yet understand what I want, who I am looking for.
But you are where my thoughts go hiding. You are the every comfort I could ask for.
I miss you, and your firm shoulder that i always feel safe to rest on.
You are the first person i wish to share my joy with.
You are the one i wish to tell my sadness with whenever i am down.
I could have been through all the things because i knew you care about me.

It took me quite a long while to learn this, to bless is also called love.
So my dear, go and look for your happiness.
You have my love, my blessing, and I wish you to be happy with or without me.